My Guide to Groceries
Or how I choose to put the "super" into "supermarket".
Greetings readers. It’s been a while. I’ve been pondering when/if to return to writing on Substack, not for any particularly deep reason but because I wasn’t entirely sure that I had a lot to say. From here on, my aim with these posts is going to be to share tips and knowledge that I’ve gained throughout the past few years. Some of you will read this and assume I’m trying to teach my grandmother to suck eggs (what a weird phrase that is), but there’s always someone out there who needs to learn the ropes of the day to day tasks we so often face. Today, we’re talking about the weekly food shop.
I want to preface this with two statements: 1. I am incredibly lucky to live in a country where we have well-stocked supermarkets and a decent selection of foods. 2. Despite fully appreciating the first point, I really don’t enjoy grocery shopping at all. So why am I writing about it? Well, one of the things I do when faced with tasks I hate is to work out precisely what it is about the task that makes it so bloody loathsome and try to mitigate or remove the source of the loathsomeness. When it comes to grocery shopping, it takes time, the lighting is often atrocious (fluorescent bulbs are not my friend) and it’s a bit too people-y for my liking. Each of these annoyances comes with its own solution, and over the past couple of years, I’ve got grocery shopping down to a fine art. I’ve tried getting my groceries delivered/click and collect, but my budget supermarket of choice doesn’t offer either of these services, and in this economy, I’d rather save a few quid and go myself. Read on to save time (in the long run), save money, reduce waste, and generally have a better time with this irritating task.
Before you leave the house…
The initial setup is going to take you a bit of time, but it will make the entire process much smoother in the long run. You are going to do an inventory. Now, I’ll be honest, I only really do this about once a month, but in the beginning, you might need to do it a little more frequently. I find the easiest way to do this is to open the voice memo app on my phone, hit record, and go through the entire contents of my fridge, freezer and cupboard, verbally stating what you’ve found, and if relevant (i.e. if perishable), what the Use By date is. This also gives you a good opportunity to chuck out anything that has reached the stage of being more than a bit questionable in terms of edibility. (Also worth stating again that there is a difference between Use By and Best Before - Use Bys are better to adhere to in order to avoid any gnarly stomach issues if you’re not great at detecting when food has gone off and Best Befores are guidelines - it might not taste as amazing as it once did, but it’s food and it should still be eaten sooner rather than later, Remember though: if in doubt, throw it out!).
Once you’ve finished your recording, either grab a pen and paper if you’re old school, or open a Google Doc… I prefer the Google Doc, and I’ll explain why.
Google Doc > Pen and Paper
Now, this won’t work for everyone. I know there are people out there who have their own system that works perfectly well for them, thank-you-very-much. You do you. I’m writing for the people who are overspending on their groceries, somehow still coming home to find they forgot things and end up getting a completely unplanned takeaway in the middle of the week because they thought they had something in the freezer that they actually ate two weeks before.
Open a Google Doc. Listen back to the voice note you made. Cringe at the sound of your voice if you’re not used to hearing it (don’t worry, you’ll recover) and type up the full list of everything you have currently in your kitchen. From here, you’re going to make a meal plan. Look at the stuff on your list and the use-by dates and make a plan for using this stuff up. You’ll be amazed at what you can come up with and how much shorter your shopping list is going to be.
Don’t forget breakfast and lunches, and remember to plan for leftovers if you can. If you’re new to the delights of leftovers, just have them for lunch the next day. If this is not your first rodeo, challenge yourself to create something interesting from those leftovers. We can make a roast chicken stretch over several meals just by thinking ahead (roast on Sunday for two people, pasta bake on Monday and Tuesday for two people, and then stock from the carcass becomes risotto that will give us dinner for two nights - that one chicken has therefore contributed to 10 dinners between us and nothing has been wasted).
If you’re new to the whole meal planning thing, it helps to decide what meals you actually like, what is reasonably nutritious, what you can throw together quickly and what is reasonably priced. I like steak, and it’s quick to cook, but it’s not particularly economical. Pot Noodle is quick and reasonably priced, but they’re not a favourite and they’re not massively good for you either. Try to pick things that tick three of those boxes, but remember that meals you actually like is a non-negotiable - you’re far more likely to go rogue from your meal plan if you don’t like what’s on it. Have a few meals that you can cook on rotation and take the mystery out of dinner.
Now that you’ve planned your meals for the week and established that you won’t be running low on tomato puree for a few months after somehow acquiring seventeen tubes of the stuff (true story, don’t judge me…), you’re going to start writing the actual list.
The best way to write a shopping list
When you are next in the supermarket, pay close attention to the layout of the shop. If you’re in a new area or it’s a new supermarket, you might want to make a few notes as you go around (don’t worry about looking like a weirdo, everyone looks like a weirdo in the supermarket, it’s just a fact of life). These notes will form the basis of your list and this is going to save you a LOT of time. I can do a full week’s shop for two grown adults in less than twenty minutes since I started using this method for the lists (if you have small humans, your mileage may vary).
On the Google Doc, type in the headings of the different sections of the store based on the order you will approach them as you travel around the aisles. So for example, in my local supermarket, I have the following headings:
Fruit and Veg Section 1
Meat and Fish
Dairy Products
Tinned Goods and Savoury snacks
Seasoning section
Fruit and Veg Section 2
Eggs and Baking Ingredients
Pet Food
Soft Beverages
Toiletries
Household Cleaning and Loo Rolls
Frozen Section
Sweet Snacks and Cereal
Bread, Tea and Spreads
This is generally reflective of the order that I will approach these sections of the supermarket and I will add the items to the list under each of the headings. This saves me loads of time because I don’t usually find myself having to wander off to a different part of the store to fetch something I’d forgotten and it saves me money because I’m less likely to wander into a part of the store I don’t need to visit to start browsing for stuff I don’t need.
Why a Google Doc?
Because I live with another human, we are both forgetful, and we both usually have our phones to hand. I share access and editing rights for that Google Doc with my other half and we can untick/add items to the list throughout the week. If he runs out of peanut butter, he can scroll down to the Bread, Tea and Spreads section and untick the little box next to peanut butter, which will show me that I need to pick some up. If I decide to try out a new recipe and I need a specific new ingredient, I can add it to the relevant section of the list. Every couple of months, I check that the list hasn’t got anything that was a one-off never-again purchase clogging it up and delete the offending items if so. In essence, this has streamlined the process and has greatly reduced the need for top-up shops.
Wildcard item:
Look, I’m not a complete monster. I allow us one or two wildcard items (no more than a fiver on these!) which are a bit of a novelty. This week, it was a couple of packs of pre-made gingerbread dough. We’re going to have a go at making gingerbread houses. But by putting the limit on this, we can’t overdo it. We still get to enjoy a little treat, but without breaking the bank or going completely OTT.
Consider the time of day.
If you have the luxury of choosing when to do a weekly shop, you can be strategic about it. I would much rather go on a weeknight evening an hour before closing time than go on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon. In fact, I’d rather peel my eyelids off and turn towards the sun than go on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon. It’s always packed, you can’t move, no one seems to know what they’re doing. Very annoying. The evenings are generally less busy, a lot quieter, and the hour until closing gives you a nice deadline to meet. Don’t worry, I’m not delaying the staff going home, I’m in and out in twenty minutes.
At the till…
Bring your own bags people! I know you have them, I know they’re stashed in ANOTHER bag somewhere in your house! Or in the boot of your car. Bring them with you. And be strategic about the order in which you place items on the conveyor belt. I group the groceries into categories as I pull them out of the trolley and try to ensure that the heavier stuff will end up at the bottom of the shopping bags to avoid squishing things. Eggs and bread are always last. They go under the category of Dry Goods. But they’re breakable and squishy.
The next question is, which supermarket are you in? If it’s Tesco, Sainsburys, Waitrose (get you!) or Morrisons, feel free to pack at the till. It’s the correct way. You can have a chat with the cashier too if you so wish. If it’s Aldi, for the love of all that is holy, will you PLEASE JUST PUT YOUR STUFF BACK IN THE TROLLEY AND PACK IT ON THE PURPOSE-BUILT SHELF AT THE FRONT OF THE STORE. The Aldi cashiers are well-trained, highly-tuned athletes. You will not be able to keep up. This is not a challenge. It is a fact. Do everyone behind you in the queue a favour, put it back in the trolley and pack it in the designated area. Save yourself the stress and aggravation of the grocery equivalent of Level 15 Tetris. This has been a public service announcement. :) I always do this, for the simple reason that I like to pack my shopping in a specific way (i.e. properly). It doesn’t take me long enough to be a waste of time (it makes unpacking when I get home significantly easier) but it takes long enough that the person behind me in the queue would probably find it incredibly irritating.
To conclude…
There’s a good chance that you might be reading this article and wondering if I’ve completely lost my mind by wittering on about the best way to do a grocery shop, but I cannot be the only person who finds this weekly chore to be incredibly tedious. So this concludes my attempt to impart some of my hard-earned wisdom to mitigate this irritation. I hope you found it helpful, and I would love to hear in the comments if you’ve got any tips and tricks on making this process more tolerable. Until next time; stay safe, be good, wash your hands. Oh, and put your trolley back when you’re finished with it.💚